The difference between stress and pressure
In everyday English, stress and pressure can more or less mean the same thing. But there is a crucial difference that EAs especially should be aware of, as it can spell the difference between burning out and performing better in your job than ever before.
What is stress?
Stress is what happens to you when you have too many tasks to do and not enough resources to do them. Whether it be down to lack of money, time, staff or any other roadblock, stress is what happens when you have 10 plates to spin but only two hands.
What is pressure?
Pressure is when there's a lot riding on successfully completing a task. There's a deadline due, or your Executive is late and you need to do the big presentation in their place - whatever it is, tasks like these are uncomfortable not because you don't have the time or money to do them, but rather the threat of costly failure is always playing on your mind.
How do these concepts fit together?
Think of the two together like this: stress is like being pulled from a number of different directions, where the result is you risk being torn apart. Pressure, on the other hand, is like being compressed - it can be a difficult experience, but in the right circumstances and doses, it can turn you into a diamond.
Stress can destroy a career while pressure can enhance one. Whenever you're feeling under the pump, ask yourself whether it's stress or pressure you're feeling - that will help you decide how to move forward.
How to be a clearer speaker
Have you ever been sitting in a meeting or the audience of a presentation where the speaker is constantly filling their sentences with 'um's and 'ah's and 'like's? Often it's not a big deal, but it can become distracting when they're used too much.
How can EAs cut down on those little filler words in their speech?
1. Don't fear silence
Filler words are sometimes used in conversation to signal to other people that you're still talking - if you need time to think of the next word, a silence might indicate that the other person can respond. A long 'uhh' in that case tells the person you're still composing your thoughts and have more to say.
As useful as that can be, it becomes entirely redundant when you're the only one allowed to speak. Think of a presentation - just because you fall silent for a second, an audience member isn't going to jump in with their point of view. You have the floor, so you don't have to hold it with constant noise. If you need time, just pause - your delivery will sound a lot cleaner.
2. Be aware that you're using them
Sometimes filler words are just a force of habit and aren't actually being used because you need time - your brain just throws them in because that's a way of speaking you've gotten used to. When this happens, you might not even be aware of how often you're saying a particular word or phrase. Actively listening to, or even recording, yourself can make you aware of how prevalent filler words are in your speech. Once you notice them, you can start to eliminate them with conscious attention.
To start new habits, you must first break old ones
"The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."
That's a saying attributed to people as varied as the writer Samuel Johnson and the investor Warren Buffett. While there's a certain truth to it - habits sometimes aren't noticeable until they become a problem - its pessimism about breaking old habits is misguided. Bad habits can be broken, but it takes some effort.
What are some important steps for doing so?
Track your progress
Breaking habits is hard. Not for a day, sure - almost everybody can muster the willpower to act against their natural tendencies for a short amount of time. It's the long term change that's difficult.
A good way to keep your motivational fire alive is to track your progress very closely. If you've committed to going sugar free, print out a calendar, stick it on your fridge, and mark off everyday that you successfully avoid the sweet stuff. That way you'll be able to see tangible evidence of your progress and on a tough day say to yourself "I've made it this far - it'd be a shame to throw it away now."
Think about why
Key to stopping a bad habit is asking yourself why it became a habit in the first place. To use the sugar example again - why do you always reach for a packet of biscuits during the day? Is it because you skip lunch or breakfast? Do you have too much to do and the sweetness makes you feel better? Knowing what drives the habit and eliminating it will help you break the habit much more easily
The key to effective confidence: balance
The hectic workday of an EA requires that they be confident in their abilities and their judgement. But how confident should you be? No doubt, underconfidence can see you passed over for tasks you should have put your hand up for, or cause people to doubt you and your abilities too, but overconfidence can wreak havoc when you become blind to your limitations and see yourself as infallible.
The answer is to find balance between these two extremes.
Remember Goldilocks and the porridge
If there's one lesson we can all learn from the tale of Goldilocks and the three bears, it's that balance is key to almost everything. The hot porridge burnt Goldilocks' tongue; the cold porridge made her wish she didn't have one; the porridge in the middle, however, was just right.
A study by researchers at the University of Freiburg in Germany found that overconfident people were rated better than they actually were by observers and underconfident people were rated as worse. They suggested that judgement about how well someone performs often uses that person's confidence level as a proxy for the quality of the performance.
Now this might sound like a boon for the overconfident but it comes with a downside; because the over confident people were more self-deceived about their abilities, they were more likely to be risk takers, attempting things beyond their actual skill level. So while overconfidence might get others to see you as better than you are on a shallow level, in time you'll be found out as you fail to live up to the hype.
Understand your abilities for what they are, and have the appropriate confidence in them. You'll get the benefits of being trusted in what you're good at, without the downsides of being self-deluded and taking unnecessary risks.
How to say no to your Executive
There will be times in every EAs career where they have to say no to their Executive - they want to give you an assignment, but you already have way too much to do, or they ask for your perspective on what should be done in a high-stake situation. How do you say no and not put your working relationship in danger?
Acknowledge who gets final say
A good start is to accept that your Executive has the final say - they are the one who ultimately gets to make the rules and the choice of how things in the office go. So don't approach saying no looking for a fight - understand that they're the Executive.
That said, passivity is not the answer to understanding your position in the power structure. You should still express your thoughts and perspectives
Explain why it's a no
It's always frustrating to be told no and not be given a reason why. If you have a solid reason for denying a request, explain to your Executive the consequences of saying yes - you can't take on this project because it will mean everything else important is ignored for the next few days, something you both can't afford. When you take the time to explain and they can see your point of view, they're much more likely to be accommodating
How to stay calm under pressure
There's no question that an EA 's job comes with a fair helping of pressure. When there's a lot riding on you, it can be easy to slip into panic mode and lose a chance to do great work.
Here's how to stop that from happening and keep your head cool under pressure.
1. Recognise the panic alarm bells
Very rarely will panic explode onto your emotional stage without any warning. The physiological and psychological signs of an oncoming panic can be easy to spot when you know what to look for. Your heart starts beating hard, you start to sweat, your hands are shaking, your thoughts start to spiral - all these and more can be signs that you're starting to lose your cool.
2. Breathe
As soon as you notice you might be falling into a panicked state, you need to do everything you can to intervene. One of the best ways of doing so is simply taking time to breathe. You are, of course, breathing all the time, but mostly unconsciously and not as deep as you could be.
Take a minute to focus on your breathe - consciously pull the air into your lungs as deep as you can, hold it, and then release. This can help focus your thoughts on something calming for a moment and also helps your nervous system relax too.